Sometimes life feels like a bit of a pendulum, doesn't it?
We can feel the swing in one direction for a long time... but then, inevitably, there will be a swing in the other direction.
Life is always seeking balance and equilibrium and harmony.
There will be phases in our lives where we are all structure and strategic.
And... we miss out on the magic of flow and creativity.
There are other phases where we are all inspiration and fluidity...
And we miss out on the support of systems and solidity.
I started my career as an economist. Did you know I have a Master's degree in Econ, as well as a Business degree? I was an expert in stats and data and financial forecasting. At the time, I had little room for magic in my life. And eventually... it left me feeling unfulfilled, depleted... and desperately seeking meaning in other ways. I was tired and worn out.
So I dove deep into my spiritual and intuitive journey. And I left all the structures and systems behind. It was...
Can I be real with you around the idea of balance?
Honestly... I hate the idea and the concept. It makes me crazy. Even when the word slips out of my mouth "I need to find more balance...'". Words trailing...
I feel nauseous, stomach turning. It is a losing battle I don't think I will ever win.
Last week I was feeling some deep overwhelm. And I found myself telling the story of seeking balance. How I was out of balance, life was out of balance, and if only...
Ugh. Fuck balance. And honestly... I just don't want to play a game that I am bound to lose, and leaves me feeling horrible.
And as I was turning around these ideas in my mind... I came across of piece of writing from 4.5 years ago. I wrote it when I was freshly post-partum with baby number 3... my little angel Mira.
Balance, to me, invokes an image of a tight rope. A thin line. Walking every so carefully, so deliberately, so much focus and concentration required.